The Weight of Beautiful

August 1, 2023
A cast member on The Real Housewives of New Jersey opens up about the long-term eating disorder that nearly killed her. When a family member called a teenage Goldschneider zaftig--a Yiddish term meaning "plump and juicy"--she was devastated. People at her high school, she writes, "looked right through me" to the slim girls she admired for their popularity. The author, who weighed "well over two hundred pounds" by the end of high school, began a Weight Watchers regimen that taught her how to see eating as a "game of exchanges (small servings) and options" rather than as something done to maintain good health. Equally unsuccessful experiments with the Atkins, South Beach, and Zone diets followed. Still questing for the perfect body after law school, Goldschneider began eating low-calorie foods made with unhealthy ingredients like Olestra. She then hit on what seemed the perfect solution: only eating nonfat foods and keeping track of every calorie she consumed through "Post-it notes and a small spiral notebook." Weight melted from her body, and shortly after that, Goldschneider met--and eventually married--the "most beautiful man who had ever looked at me in that way." While her personal life flourished, she became increasingly obsessed with eating and exercise. Eventually, anorexia caused her to not only develop an abnormally low heart rate, but also undereat during both her pregnancies. An unexpected invitation to join the Housewives show turned her into a reality TV star, but life in front of the camera also forced her anorexia into the open. Reluctantly, the author embraced the intrusion as a way to educate viewers and find personal healing. The details offered about the depth of one woman's extreme obsession with finding beauty through self-starvation can make for difficult reading, but the book is hopeful and worthwhile. A courageously candid self-assessment.

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