My Life in the Sunshine
Searching for My Father and Discovering My Family
A memoir about one man's journey to connect with his musician father, ultimately re-drawing the lines that define family and race.
Throughout his adult life, whether he was opening a Seattle record store in the '90s or touring the world as the only non-white band member in alternative rock bands, Nabil Ayers felt the shadow and legacy of his father's musical genius, and his race, everywhere.
In 1971, a white, Jewish, former ballerina, chose to have a child with the famous Black jazz musician Roy Ayers, fully expecting and agreeing that he would not be involved in the child's life. In this highly original memoir, their son, Nabil Ayers, recounts a life spent living with the aftermath of that decision, and his journey to build an identity of his own despite and in spite of his father’s absence.
Growing up, Nabil only meets his father a handful of times. But Roy’s influence is strong, showing itself in Nabil’s instinctual love of music, and later, in the music industry—Nabil’s chosen career path. By turns hopeful—wanting to connect with the man who passed down his genetic predisposition for musical talent—and frustrated with Roy’s continued emotional distance, Nabil struggles with how much DNA can define a family… and a person.
Unable to fully connect with Roy, Nabil ultimately discovers the existence of several half-siblings as well as a paternal ancestor who was enslaved. Following these connections, Nabil meets and befriends the descendant of the plantation owner, which, strangely, paves the way for him to make meaningful connections with extended family he never knew existed.
Undeterred by his father's absence, Nabil, through sheer will and a drive to understand his roots, re-draws the lines that define family and race.
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Creators
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Publisher
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Release date
June 7, 2022 -
Formats
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OverDrive Listen audiobook
- ISBN: 9780593591666
- File size: 224142 KB
- Duration: 07:46:57
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Languages
- English
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Reviews
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Publisher's Weekly
June 27, 2022
Musician and entrepreneur Ayers explores the intricacies of race and belonging in his penetrating debut, a reflection on his career and his father. Born in 1972 to a white mother and Black father, Ayers struggled early on to feel like he fit in, a feeling compounded by his estrangement from his father, Jazz composer and producer Roy Ayers. Even still, Ayers cultivated a deep passion for music while growing up, eventually carving a space for himself in the industry, landing an internship at PolyGram Records and touring across America with his band, the Lemons, in the early 1990s. At age 34, with the encouragement of his therapist, Ayers had his first real conversation with Roy, a talk that ultimately put him on a path to healing and a discovery that he wasn’t Roy’s only child. Learning about his roots, and how his ancestors had been enslaved, allowed Ayers to find a sense of identity and peace. “For the first time in my life,” he writes, “I was directly connected to my Black ancestors.... And for the first time in my life, I could claim my Black side without self-doubt, without hesitation.” Rather than offer a simple tale of reconciliation, Ayers dives into complexities of race, identity, and family and surfaces with a probing story of finding home and self-acceptance. This is a true delight.
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Formats
- OverDrive Listen audiobook
Languages
- English
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