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My First Thirty Years

A Memoir

ebook
1 of 1 copy available
1 of 1 copy available

"Thirty years ago, I lay in the womb of a woman, conceived in a sexual act of rape, being carried during the prenatal period by an unwilling and rebellious mother, finally bursting from the womb only to be tormented in a family whose members I despised or pitied, and brought into association with people whom I should never have chosen."

Shortly after its 1925 publication, Gertrude Beasley's ferociously eloquent feminist memoir was banned and she herself disappeared under mysterious circumstances. Though British Nobel Prize winner Bertrand Russell called My First Thirty Years "truthful, which is illegal" and Larry McMurtry pronounced it the finest Texas book of its era, Beasley's words have been all but inaccessible for almost a century—until now.

Beasley penned one of the most brutally honest coming-of-age historical memoirs ever written, one which strips away romantic notions about frontier women's lives at the turn of the 20th century. Her mother and sisters braved male objectification and the indignities of poverty, with little if any control over their futures. With characteristic ferocity, Beasley rejected a life of dependence, persisting in her studies and becoming first a teacher, then a principal, then a college instructor, and finally a foreign correspondent.

Along the way, Beasley becomes a strident activist for women's rights, socialism, and sex education, which she sees as key to restoring bodily autonomy to women like those she grew up with. She is undaunted by authority figures but secretly ashamed of her origins and yearns to be loved. My First Thirty Years is profoundly human and shockingly candid, a rallying cry that cost its author her career and her freedom.

Her story deserves to be heard.

Praise for My First Thirty Years:

"For almost a century in Texas literary circles, Gertrude Beasley's 1925 memoir has been more a legend than a book... The tangled history of My First Thirty Years, and Beasley's horrific personal fate, are case studies in society's merciless treatment of women of her era who gave voice to socially unspeakable truths. The memoir's republication this month, which makes it widely available for the first time in 96 years, is a long-overdue moment of reckoning. It's also a rich gift to the Texas literary canon."—Texas Monthly

"We should all be as fierce, loud, and convinced of our own self-worth as Gertrude Beasley was. This story of a justifiably angry woman living ahead of the world she lived in will resonate deeply today."—Soraya Chemaly, activist and award-winning author of Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women's Anger

"Gertrude Beasley's 1925 memoir grabs the reader by the arm and holds tight, speaking with a voice as compelling as if she had just put down her pen this morning. Feminist, socialist, and acute observer of both herself and the world around her, Beasley gives us stories that illuminate the costs of poverty and of being a woman. To read My First Thirty Years is to be in conversation with an extraordinary mind."—Anne Gardiner Perkins, author of Yale Needs Women

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    • Kirkus

      August 1, 2021
      A memoir from a hitherto unknown educator and reformer, first published in Paris in 1925. Born in little-settled West Texas in 1892, Beasley had an oppressively unhappy family life. Her father was a "restless, violent alcoholic" who moved his 13 children frequently as he pursued one pipe-dream scheme after another. Her siblings were, by her account, uninspired and unintelligent--and worse: "I did not like my three oldest brothers (I feared, mistrusted, and hated them at times, chiefly because of their treatment of me which I look upon now as pure rape. There was no play about it.)" An early student of Freudian psychology, Beasley catalogs instances of sexual abuse while revealing herself to be ahead of her time in attitudes toward sexual relations. While she glances over her father after a divorce that put the now splintered family into financial peril, she recounts endless fights with a petulant, depressive mother, of whom she writes, "Sometimes I thought I hated my mother more bitterly than anyone in the world." Freedom came when she earned a teaching degree and, in time, ended up in educational administration in the Pacific Northwest only to run afoul of her boss. Readers familiar with Marguerite Noble's novel Filaree (1979) will find Beasley's memoir to be a companion piece of sorts, though the latter is wooden by comparison. Problematic, too, is that the author is not an especially sympathetic character, particularly because she is consistently disdainful of those she considers intellectually or culturally inferior ("in my heart of hearts I never liked the people of the Baptist church and held the best of them in suspicion"), not least her own family: "None of them was ever capable of carrying on an intelligent conversation. My home life was in every way a retrogression: there was no soul, no love, no intelligence." That she was able to leave home at 17 was doubtless mutually satisfying all around. For students and scholars of early feminism.

      COPYRIGHT(2021) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

    • Booklist

      August 1, 2021
      When Beasley's memoir was originally published in 1925, it was controversial, acclaimed, and, ultimately, banned. Born in Texas, the ninth of 13 children to perennially impoverished and ferociously antagonistic parents, Beasley exhibited a singular affinity and aptitude for learning, an asset that earned her college scholarships, launched a career that progressed from teaching in a ramshackle one-room rural Texas schoolhouse to becoming a school superintendent near Seattle. A world traveler and an outspoken feminist, Beasley ended up committed to a psychiatric facility on Long Island. Shocking for its unsparing portrait of woeful deprivation, sexual violence, and reprehensible racism common for that time and place, Beasley's long-lost memoir, once championed by Larry McMurtry and now avidly reclaimed, confirms that many traumas and injustices are timeless. Beasley's blazing and harrowing chronicle of her life raised vehement objections in 1925, and will surely stir strong feelings again in 2021. This fierce chronicle of one woman's determination to confront insurmountable odds in the fight for women's rights is a template of righteous dissent against many persistent forms of social injustice.

      COPYRIGHT(2021) Booklist, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

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